No Winners
by Black Magik Woman
Summary: In this love triangle, there are no winners. Amy/Laurie/Jo
1. Empty

DISCLAIMER: Little Women and the characters therein belong to Louisa May Alcott.

A/N: Please forgive any spelling/grammatical errors you may find. It's late, and I wanted to put this up before going to bed.

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Amy Curtis Laurence opened her pale blue eyes and regarded the beautiful molded ceiling. Few could boast of the same blessings in her possession. The exquisitely tailored gowns. The luxurious carriages. The priceless jewelry. The gorgeous townhouse in Paris' Saint Germain des Pres, which she artistically decorated herself. Her days were filled with walking, shopping, sketching and running the household. It was quite the life she fancied for herself all those years ago. She thought back to when she was a child to the simple life she shared with Papa, Marmee and her sisters. It seemed like a lifetime ago!

Amy loved and cherished each of her sisters. With Meg, she sought counsel: the elder sister's advice was always gently given and suited Amy perfectly. Beth's patience and goodness was always something Amy tried to emulate. Jo's antics were always great for a laugh.

It was with Jo, however, that a sibling rivalry was cultivated. Where Jo was tall, boyish and brash, Amy was petite, ladylike and refined. As children, their rivalry was punctuated with outbursts and clashes. As they matured into adulthood, the stark contrast in personalities alone pitted the sisters against each other in various situations. On the day of the social calls, Amy inwardly cringed with embarrassment at Jo's boorish behavior, however filled with self satisfaction that she had made the favorable impression over her sister. It was because of Amy's deportment that Aunt March ultimately selected her as a companion for the European tour, despite the fact that Aunt had told Jo she would be her companion. Amy may have received the news with composure, but she silently exalted, especially upon seeing Jo's passionate disappointment.

Amy turned her head and regarded her husband slumbering beside her. Theodore "Laurie" Laurence, the March sisters' next-door neighbor and childhood friend. Not only tall, handsome and rich, but charming and well-bred, Amy considered him an ideal suitor. She always envied the intimacy Jo and Laurie shared. Their bond was closer than twins'. The two could just exchange one look, yet convey volumes to each other alone. As a child, she lashed out in her jealousy. She burned Jo's beloved book of stories in retaliation of their excluding her from an outing to the theatre. As a young lady, Amy wished Laurie would gaze at her with the same smoldering intensity he gazed at her sister. Jo slowly became more conscious of Laurie's feelings, and the passion between the two of them frightened her. Jo rebuffed him again and again, yet her rejections had the opposite effect. Laurie was more determined to win her over. It exasperated Amy that Laurie would waste so much energy on an ungrateful recipient.

Yet all that determination proved fruitless. Heartbroken and bitter, Laurie fled to Europe to escape. When Amy encountered him there, he was a shadow of the jovial young man she knew. Amy had a budding romance with Fred Vaughn at the time, but saw the opportunity of finally winning Laurie's heart away from Jo. Amy primly disapproved of the indolent lifestyle Laurie had adopted, and hoped her influence would restore him. When he solemnly proposed on the lake, Amy couldn't have dreamed of a more romantic proposal. Amy knew that despite Laurie looking at her with growing affection, those dark eyes were searching for some piece of Jo in Amy's countenance. Amy firmly pushed that troubling thought aside. Here was Laurie - her sister's best friend and confidante - and he was proposing to _her._ It seemed to be the final triumph in her lifelong rivalry with her sister. First Aunt March's favor, now Laurie's.

In the predawn quiet, as sleep dissipates, Amy can't help but feel that the loser is herself. For behind the genuine fondness in Laurie's eyes, there is a continued longing for Jo. Amy was a substitute, a consolation prize. Laurie had made that clear when he sharply rebuked her for using Jo's pet name for him that one time. His relationship with Amy was nothing more than a bridge to the unattainable Jo.

Amy's gaze fell on the ornate writing desk, and her eyes filled with tears as she spied the opened letter. Written in Jo's familiar frenetic hand was the tragic news of Beth's passing. Laurie had read the missive first. Amy chose to ignore the eagerness in Laurie's face when he saw Jo's handwriting on the envelope. She rallied against the stab of bitterness as Laurie's eyes seemed to devour her sister's words. How his expression changed when Jo's message finally sank in! Laurie wept like a broken man over the loss of Beth, for she was dear to him as a sister could be. Amy knew Laurie was wild to leave on the first ship back to America - to comfort the family that took him in when he was a lonely adolescent. To comfort the woman who is taking the loss of Beth particularly hard.

But Laurie couldn't fly off. His strong sense of duty as a husband and overall gallantry pins him to Amy's side. Amy sighed quietly as she interlaced her fingers and settled them on her slowly swelling belly. Although this child is theirs, he could never be hers. In this particular rivalry for Laurie's heart, Jo was the clear winner. As her body starts to fill with life, Amy's heart will always be empty.


	2. Pining

Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own these characters...if I did, I'd be kinder to Jo and Laurie! :)

A/N: Many, many thanks for reading and to those who have submitted reviews. Your thoughts and encouragement mean a lot. Keep 'em coming!

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Laurie's long fingers idly toyed with the piano keys, picking chords at random. Amy had been feeling ill and took to her bed. With nothing much to do, Laurie retreated to the music room. The music room is his haven and the piano his confidante. It was the one room in their Parisian townhouse that Amy did not touch. The selection and arrangement of the furniture was his alone. It was the least ornate room in the house as Laurie never liked "fuss and feathers". The one luxury was the beautiful, lacquered grand piano which dominated the room. Laurie always found himself retreating to it when he wanted to be alone. Amy liked to remark that she could always tell what mood Laurie was in by the music drifting out of the music room.

Jo's letter lay in front of him on the glossy lid. This was the first letter she had addressed to him (albeit, to Amy as well) since their falling out. Of course, he'd hear news about her via Amy, but he actually felt a thrill when he first saw his name written in her hand. The sight of the letter made him think of all the notes he and Jo passed to each other through their little post box. To think he had taken all that correspondence for granted!

When the sad news of Beth's passing sank in, Laurie felt an overwhelming wave of grief. The gentlest soul he had ever known is no longer on this earth. He felt privileged to be a part of Beth's little world, and her kind and selfless spirit exercised a world of influence on him. Remembering how peaceful Beth would have never wanted to grieve those who loved her best, Laurie fought to subdue the choky feeling of his "confounded throat" and turned to comfort his sobbing wife. Drawing his arm around her, Laurie let Amy cry on his shoulder. Once her sobs abated, he bade her rest on her sofa. Amy's confinement had been plagued with sickness, and he didn't want to risk any harm to herself or the babe.

Laurie played a few melancholy chords as he remembered that sad day. He found himself thinking further back, when they first encountered such grief. That dark day when Beth took a turn for the worse, and Jo took off into a storm to post a telegram beckoning their mother to come home. Jo sobbed despairingly when she told Laurie of Beth's condition. It was the first time Laurie saw Jo so helpless. Jo was the family pillar while the sisters' parents were away, and she was beginning to crack under the strain. Laurie had fallen in love with Jo's willful strength, but seeing her vulnerable like this further deepened his love for her. It showed that even the strongest person needed a prop. Laurie wanted to be that prop for her. His heart felt like bursting when he felt her accept his embrace and leaned in closer to his body. He remembered how her body trembled in his arms when he held her close. It was as if time had stopped for just a moment as they took comfort in each other. A half smile played on Laurie's lips when he remembered the kisses he stole after he revealed that he took it upon himself to call for her mother the day before. Jo was just so surprised and pleased with "her Teddy" that she flew at him, nearly knocking him off balance. Laurie was astounded that to this day, he could still vividly remember how warm and surprisingly soft Jo's lips were against his. She was normally so flinty with him that he hungered for more of her gentler side. It showed him that she was capable of loving another if given the chance. Thinking back to this awoke the familiar longing he thought he deeply buried away.

Laurie caught himself starting to fall into a despair. "Hang this lovelornity," he muttered, commanding his fingers to play a livelier strain, and his fingertips commenced a proud and stately fugue. Was he not in love with Amy? Of course he was. They are a great deal to each other here in Europe. Laurie didn't doubt his love for Amy. Amy had single-handedly turned Laurie back from his headlong dash towards self-destruction. She was his beautiful lady of the manor. The shining and accomplished jewel of the household. Yet with all the pleasure he derived from the sweetness of her company, there was a decided lack of passion. Perhaps this is what married life was to be. To content yourself in the pleasurable company of your mate... with no changes, no highs nor lows. Life with Amy fell into a complacent and predictable pattern.

Memories of his failed proposal came unbidden, and Laurie's fingers unconsciously played out wistful notes. What a foolish and hotheaded young lad he was! His cheeks burned with embarrassment remembering how he tried to wheedle an assent out of Jo. Jo's heart should have been handled more delicately. Just because she was rough and tumble didn't mean her heart could be won by force. Seeing how Jo was frightened by his ardor surprised and hurt him. Jo had a fear of all her loved ones leaving her and struggled against changes and disruptions to her quiet family life. Laurie understood that now and chided himself for his rashness. If he had worked and waited a bit longer, and let Jo's heart unfold in its own time, the sweetest reward in Jo's love would have awaited him. What would life be like if Jo had accepted him? Passionate, yes. Full of happiness, without a doubt.

Laurie's fingers were about to approach a crescendo when his fingers abruptly stopped, just as his budding romance with his dearest friend was suddenly extinguished by Jo's fear of change and his own impatience. Laurie leaned forward and rested his head upon Jo's letter. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. Laurie felt keenly for Jo's loss and wished more than anything he was there to comfort her like he did so long ago. He thought of that angelic soul that passed before him. Jo was her protector and champion while Beth gentled and tempered Jo's wild spirit. Beth lived selflessly for others while never asking for anything for herself. Laurie decided to follow Beth's example and dedicated his life to devotion to his family. Laurie collected himself and slipped Jo's letter into his waistcoat pocket, near his heart. There was no use pining for what is lost to him. Although the embers of his fire for Jo could never be extinguished, he resolved to bury his passion once more.


	3. Regret

Jo sat curled up on the old three-legged sofa in the garret. The contents of her desk were strewn around her. After spending weeks haunting the house like a listless ghost, Marmee suggested she take up writing again. Half-finished manuscripts and hastily jotted musings littered her lap and the floor surrounding the sofa. Jo was determined to absorb herself into her work. To silence the demons of heartache that haunted her: Beth by day; Laurie by night. Jo missed them both so terribly.

She picked up a sheaf of paper and scanned a few of her written lines. It was a half-writ tale of the exciting exploits of a spirited female pirate. Jo half smiled to herself. "If I can't escape to thrilling adventures, I might as well let my heroines live them out!" Jo settled herself more comfortably and endeavored to reacquaint herself with her character when a bundle slipped off her lap and dropped to the floor. Jo leaned over and eyed it curiously. It looked like a bunch of letters tied up with a smart red ribbon.

Jo set aside her story and picked up the neat little stack. Untying the ribbon, she unfolded the first note. In Laurie's dashing hand, she saw:

"Dear Jo --  
What ho!"

Jo smiled and continued to read Laurie's invitation to picnic with him, Mr. Brooke and the Vaughns on the river. The letter has got to be almost ten years old. They were just children back then. The letter instantly transported Jo to happier times, when she and the people she loved dearly weren't swept up and separated by life's changing tide. It staved off the sharp pangs of loneliness she was feeling. Jo set Laurie's note aside and opened the next one. The whole bundle was a collection of Laurie's letters saved from when they were frolicking children till Laurie's days in college.

As she read, Jo was amazed at just how many letters were passed back and forth between them. Laurie was never fond of writing, but he always made the effort to dash off notes to Jo alone. They weren't just cursory missives either. It was evident Laurie put a lot of thought behind his words to amuse and delight her.

Jo had always been quite aware of Laurie's fondness for her. Jo's cheeks pinked at the realization at how much she dearly cared for her boy. His letters were neither pining nor loverlike, but she saw his love for her behind every word he wrote. Upon rereading all of his letters, her sleeping heart had finally awoke and resounded in reciprocation. Her eyes brimmed with tears when she recalled the day she broke his heart. He had never written a word to her afterwards since leaving for Europe. How can he? It dawned on Jo that not only was Laurie's heart broken that day, but hers as well.

Jo covered her face with one of Laurie's letters. "Oh, my dear Teddy! I've been such a fool! A scared and stubborn fool." Jo's tears matched the steady rain outside.

**ooo**

"How is she?" Mr. March asked his wife as she stepped down from the garret stairs.

Mrs. March frowned as she approached her husband and took his hand. "Sometimes when a mother tries to protect her child from harm, it is actually best for both the child and mother to let things happen on their own course."

Mr. March raised an eyebrow quizzically. "You think it's too soon for our Jo to start writing again?"

"No, it's not that," Mrs. March shook her head, her eyes shining with regret. "The advice I gave Jo about Laurie. My dear, I believe I made a mistake!"

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**A/N:** Many thanks to **Alydia Rackham** for letting Jo borrow her pirate story idea! :)

Thanks again to everyone who have taken the time to read and review.


	4. Story

"There!" Jo exclaimed as she laid her pen down with a flourish. "What do you think, my dear?"

A pair dark eyes sparkled with merriment from the sofa across the room. "I daresay you were pretty cruel. Amy may be a goose, but she did in fact straighten me out and send me back to you from Europe. Must the girl both be with child _and_ in an unhappy marriage?"

Jo made a wry face at her companion. "Dear Teddy, it is just part of the sensational bit. I can't imagine things would turn out happy for anyone had I taken Marmee's advice all those years ago."

"I would have never had the privilege to call you 'my wife'," Laurie commented. "I'd rather be hanged than to never say those words to you."

"Nor I," Jo agreed with a shiver.

"And would being married to me have been all that miserable?" Laurie asked adopting an indignant expression which dissolved in laughter.

"Only miserable to the wrong person married to you," Jo returned. "God bless Marmee. I know she worried about us."

"The wonderful woman was only mothering her girl," Laurie nodded. "And look at how Fred Vaughn and little Amy are getting on capitally."

Jo sorted her pages and smiled at Laurie. "I'm glad of it. I am very happy with how things have really turned out. I couldn't write a better ending."

"Well, I would be much happier if my wife wasn't all the way across the room and neglecting her boy," Laurie remarked in his most persuasive tone.

"My dear husband, you are a born wheedler!" Jo laughed as she bundled her story up. Without a second thought, she tossed the little manuscript into the fire and joined her husband on the sofa.

**FIN**

**A/N:** Hooray, bonus chapter! I was originally going to write this in three perspectives, but I just couldn't leave everyone so unhappy. I am just a sucker for a happy ending, so this story did in fact have all winners. Hope this neat tying up of loose ends wasn't too cheesy.


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